At Home with Tech

I used to recognize every sound throughout our house. Then, a faint digital tone began pinging. I can’t locate this ghost in our kitchen, and it’s challenged my very existence.

I grew up in an apartment in Manhattan. The background roar of New York City flowed through me day and night. Our apartment building also echoed the nosy lives of dozens of people living around us. Strange creaks, bangs, bumps and even occasional screams were just a normal part of existence. I mostly tuned it out, but every so often, a new alien-like sound would pique my interest.

Then I moved out of the city, and throughout most of my adulthood, I’ve lived in houses in suburban neighborhoods. Though not exactly the wilderness, there was always enough quiet ambience that allowed me to mentally catalogue the origins of every sound my home made.

• The click of the furnace kicking into gear
• The low rumble of our garage door opening
• The high-pitch whoosh of water flowing to hydrate our lawn
• The happy tune from our LG washer machine when it’s done with its cycle
• The thump of the cat jumping off our LG dryer
• The three pings from my new Behmor Brazen Plus 3.0 coffee maker after brewing

I knew our house’s every mechanical, digital and biologic whisper and where it came from.

Until one day recently… I didn’t.

Smoke Detector Madness
The only problem I’ve previously had with noises in my house was tracking down the annoying cry of my smoke detector looking for fresh batteries. Sure, I’ve got a more advanced Google Nest Protect monitoring the second floor by our bedrooms, but our first floor and basement still host old-school First Alert models.

And honestly, I could never tell which sibling puck was in distress. So, I had to painfully wait in front of one of them for 90 seconds until the next piercing chirp. And of course, that always happened after I’d been rudely awakened by this cruel (but necessary) warning at 2am.

Fortunately, even these basic smoke detectors have evolved over time, and the most recent First Alert model I’ve installed has a 10-year lithium battery sealed into the unit. So hopefully, my excruciating dead-of-night searches won’t be so frequent.

You Can’t Find Me
But recently, a ghost ping has cropped up in my house, and it is completely unknown. The sound is faint and just one ping. I hear the digital note only every few days, and there is no pattern to it.

It’s entirely infuriating, and I feel this brief tone is taunting me.

Sure, I could ignore It. (This innocuous accent isn’t loud enough to wake me up at night.)

But its existence challenges my control… my authority… my human dominance over our little kingdom.

The Digital Ghost in our Kitchen
The best I can tell, this evil ping comes from somewhere in our kitchen. The faint digital heartbeat doesn’t give me enough information, because it’s too infrequent. (I can’t stand around for a day waiting for the next one.)

Logic tells me the culprit is one of our newer devices… my Brazen coffee maker or perhaps our Instant Pot.

They’re both usually plugged in. Perhaps this is just a little friendly reminder that one is unnecessarily sucking energy in standby mode.

So, what’s the big deal?

Open the Pod-Bay Doors, HAL
Well, I can’t stop thinking about this silly audio ping that currently remains outside my control. I consider it a form of defiance.

As I’ve worked hard over the years to make our home ‘smarter,’ that also means I’ve bolted in more tech to track. Most of it is ‘set-it-and-forget-it.’ But that can’t last forever. So, isn’t this a problem just waiting to happen down the line?

Eventually, your home may take on a life of its own. It can start with a little mystery ping. But it probably won’t end there.

Life isn’t set-and-forget. Your tech shouldn’t be either. And now we’ve got AI to improve everything. See where I’m going?

Don’t Lose the Manual
I’m no Luddite. But it’s clear to me that as we continue to embrace technology in every part of our existence, we must pay attention and not lose too much control. AI is allowed to occasionally hallucinate, but we can’t afford to do that even once. (Humanity doesn’t come with that disclaimer.)

If you think my concern is only worth considering as a screenplay plot device for your next Sci-Fi blockbuster, please considering offering me a screen credit.

Otherwise, I’d recommend you always track down that next digital phantom that crops up in your house. Sure, it may just be an innocent ping.

But when your home talks to you, it’s always best to understand what it’s saying.