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Tag: fathers and sons

How to Connect Fathers and Sons with a Clock, Watch and a Compass

This was my father’s captain’s ship clock. I can remember the sounds of its chimes from when I was a young boy. But after he passed away, I couldn’t find the winding key.

Our son has graduated from middle school. I can’t believe it. Yesterday, he was in diapers. Today, he’s as tall as me. Tomorrow, he’s off to high school.

I wanted to get him a little gift to commemorate this achievement in his young life. I thought back to some of the presents my father had given me, and I remembered an engraved pocket watch when I graduated from high school.

I was a bit confused by it at the time, because nobody used pocket watches. Maybe certain people did when my father was growing up. Certainly, I wasn’t going to carry a pocket watch around. Still, I liked it. And it’s turned out to be a keepsake, which I’ve held onto across the decades since.

My Son’s Engraved Compass
Still, I figured a pocket watch would make even less sense to my son. But it got me wondering. What object or tool could I engrave? And then I thought about a compass. That carries some meaning, right?

Perhaps, an old compass with metal plating that would allow for an engraved message. But where could I buy something like that?

As it turned out, I found it at a local watch and clock repair store. They didn’t officially sell compasses, but the owner happened to have a few from a collection he had purchased.

Clearly, fate wanted me to find my compass. The one I chose had a removable dark metal top cover, which I used as an engraving surface. It was perfect.

Our son liked his gift. But I know its true value as a memory capsule will only reveal itself in the years and decades to come. So, you can check back on this blog in June 2064 to see if he’s still got it. (Apologies in advance that generative A.I. Barrett will obviously be pumping out these posts at that point.)

My Father’s Ship Clock
While I was in the clock repair shop, I took a moment to look around. I spotted two brass captain’s ship clocks. They were just like the one my father had on our living room wall next to his desk when I was growing up in our New York City apartment. It was mounted there for as long as I can remember. He wound it dutifully every week, and it chimed with its confusing nautical ‘chime-the-watch’ design.

The chimes blended into the day-to-day city background noise, and I barely noticed the little ‘bongs’. When I was a teenager, my father eventually stopped winding the clock (I guess he lost interest), and it transitioned into a silent piece of wall art.

After my dad passed away in 2022, I took his captain’s clock home with me. I felt a strong connection to it (in some ways, more than my pocket watch).

But I couldn’t find the winding key. So, the captain’s clock remained silent.

The Key to Lost Sounds
So, I asked the owner of the clock repair shop if he might have a replacement key to my father’s clock. The owner told me to bring it in when I came back for my son’s engraved compass. He would see what he could do.

When I returned, I handed over the clock. He took it over to a big drawer of keys. And then he began trying them out… one key at a time.

He was at it for five minutes, and I was sure he was going to run out of keys. But then I saw one twist that generated the “click, click, click” sound.

Whoa! It was actually working!

He wound the clock, and then he wound the chime mechanism. (They operate separately.) He moved the clock hands about. And then I heard it.

“Bong, bong. Bong, bong. Bong.”

The sounds of those chimes pierced through my body like a wave of temporal energy.

I almost had to take a step backwards. It felt so visceral. I hadn’t heard those chimes in decades. Was I suddenly in a different multiverse or had I time traveled?

Then, I regained control of my senses, and I simply applauded the store owner’s accomplishment.

Holding onto Distant Memories
I walked out of the store with my son’s compass, my dad’s functioning captain’s clock and the key.

In that moment, I recognized that I had crossed into a nexus between three generations. Fathers and sons. I had tethered the past to the future. It felt significant.

I had my old time-keeping devices from my father. Now, our son has his old compass from me, which should hold up just fine (unless unexpected future solar flares or alien invasion mess with the Earth’s magnetic field).

It’s nice that all this old tech still functions, but it’s not really about using these tools. (Digital versions took over years ago.)

It’s about the important memories they help you hold onto through their visual, tactile and audio cues.

Your Message in a Bottle
As a father, I think about this a lot. Usually, my digital family photo archiving is how I direct this energy. My need to document family history.

But photos fade, and digital files may not last into the distant future.

Turns out the engraving on a pocket watch or compass effectively becomes a message in a bottle, floating safely in the ocean to the future.

Yes, it’s old school… but it works.

One Father’s Journey to Introduce “Star Wars” to his Son

If you’re a parent trying to figure out when’s the right time to expose your kids to the Dark Side of the Force, here’s my story as a parent and a “Star Wars” fan…

I’ve been waiting for this moment since the day my son was born. And please grant me this nerdy pleasure… My boy and I watched “Star Wars” together this past weekend in our family room.

He’s nine years old, and I know that many younger kids have watched all of the movies already, including the newer ones. And it’s not like I haven’t tried a couple of times before. In fact, I did technically screen some of “A New Hope” with him two years back. But he didn’t really like it.

Thank you, Harry Potter
He simply wasn’t ready. I think it’s because of the plot’s suspense and the Dolby-infused mayhem of blasters and light sabers. But mostly, it was the suspense. At the time, he was still enjoying Lego movies and “Ice Age” flicks.

But then, he caught the Harry Potter reading bug, and he tore through all of the books. And when he found out there were movies, of course he wanted to watch them. To date, we’ve gotten through the first five. And as much as there was plenty of intensity and suspense in those flicks, he already knew the stories. So, I think it was a wonderful way to comfortably ease him into consuming more serious storytelling. And I hoped it would be a bridge…

If at First You Don’t Succeed…
We sometimes have ‘family movie night’ at home, and I’ve recently begun suggesting “Star Wars” again, but he still wasn’t interested.

Then, last Saturday, it was my turn to choose a movie. (We rotate between the three of us.) Without any big set up, my son and I sat down on the couch. Usually, he wants to know what we’re going to watch, but not this time…

I powered up our Apple TV and scrolled down to the “Star Wars” thumbnail grouping.
(I’ve previously purchase the first six movies.)

He saw what I was doing, and he didn’t object. I kept going…

I hovered over “The Empire Strikes Back,” since we technically had already seen “A New Hope.” But my boy helpfully suggested that we play “A New Hope” since he barely remembered it.
(Whoa! Was this actually happening?)

What’s the Right Order?
Before I could tap ‘play,’ he noticed “A New Hope” wasn’t listed first, and then we got into the discussion of order…

I explained the whole two/one/three trilogy thing, and I could tell he was trying to understand why anyone would make a series of movies out of order. After thinking about it a bit more, he asked if we could simply start at the beginning with Episode 1.

I looked at him, and knew I that needed to make the call. I explained that I wanted him to watch the movies in the order that I had watched them as I was growing up. He took another beat and happily said, “Okay.”

We were on!
Cue the John Williams soundtrack…

The Question of Luke’s Father
What can I say… It was glorious. The two of us were finally watching and enjoying “Star Wars” together.
(My wife took a rain check on this particular screening.)

He really liked “A New Hope.” When it was over, he proclaimed that R2-D2 was his favorite character, because he was such a “cool robot.” (He had laughed at all of the little droid’s antics.) Then he quickly chose Obi-Wan Kenobi as his second favorite character. (It’s hard to ignore the amazing Alec Guinness.)

Then my boy said, “I bet Luke’s father is in the first three movies.”
He waited for my response.

Wow. I and many others had a lukewarm response to Episodes 1-3. But this pop-up focus group of one fourth grader immediately identified the strong desire to know the back story.

I smiled at my son.
“Is Luke’s father in the first three movies?
Yes, I think it’s a good bet that he is…”
(Cue the famous breathing sound effect.)

Parenting 101
It’s a long journey to “The Rise of Skywalker,” and as much as I’d like to take my boy to watch it on the big screen, he likely won’t be through the other movies yet. Plus, there’s a reason why this new trilogy is rated PG-13. The films are intense.

My wife has sometimes had to remind me that as a parent, I should observe the cues from our son to better understand when he’s ready to experience something new.

What’s the right age to start watching “Star Wars?”
Of course there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. As a parent, you’re supposed to make that call.

Should I have been pushing “Star Wars” for the past two years? Probably not. As a father, I’m admittedly sometimes still just a Padawan.
(At some level, aren’t we all students in the art of parenting?)

But now that he’s ready for a galaxy far, far away… I can’t hide my own
child-like glee.

The Force is with him.