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Tag: holidays

How to Prevent Yankee Swap from Ruining Your Holiday Spirit

Many years ago, I learned the art of Yankee Swap. And that’s when I figured out it’s also a sport. This group holiday gifting game goes by other names, including Secret Santa and White Elephant. 

If you haven’t yet participated, Yankee Swap is a game of chance, as everyone first picks a number out of a hat to determine the order of gift selection from an anonymous pile of presents. However, there’s plenty of strategy involved, especially if family members ‘unofficially’ align as a team.

Yankee Steal
There are variations on the rules, but in short, each person picks a wrapped gift and then decides whether to keep or swap it with a previously opened present. If everyone gets into the spirit of the game, it becomes ‘Yankee Steal.’ There’s usually a gift or two that everyone wants, that those get swapped multiple times throughout the game.

So, if played properly, this game is effectively about stealing the best gift for yourself and leaving everyone else with the lumps of coal. (You’ve got to feel comfortable being a little ruthless.)

Three Ways to Feel Like a Winner
I must admit that after participating in this holiday tradition many times, I often found myself disappointed with the results. (Statistically, that’s going to happen to many players.)

So, I’ve learned a few tricks that help me feel like a winner, no matter what happens. Here are my top three tips:

#1
Worst Gift Ever
Yes, it’s always nice to give and receive a great gift. But a terrible gift… that can actually be the best Yankee Swap present ever. But it has to be over-the-top bad. If so, it will get a huge laugh in the group. 

The best ‘worst’ gift I ever saw was a 15-pound frozen turkey gift wrapped in a box. Priceless.

I’ve given my share of intentionally terrible gifts over the years. A few of my favorites include:

  • Ugly Lumberjack Winter Hat 
    (for a Brooklyn/Manhattan crowd)
  • Giant Angry Bird plush toy 
    (This one was an unexpected hit.)
  • NapSack Sleep Hood 
    (This was just a box with a photo of a man sleeping on a bench wearing a blue sack over his head. The box was empty. The gag was just the silly idea of it.)

#2
A Boring Gift Should Not Affect your Holiday Zen

But a boring Yankee Swap gift is that exactly that… and nobody wants one of those. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of nicely wrapped boxes fall into this category. 

And these are the ones that can really suck the holiday spirit out of your soul. There’s nothing you can really do about it, other than accept it’s like walking into a casino… the house usually wins. 

So, the next step is to recognize that this game should be more about the fun and laughs…not snagging the best gift. That’s how you can retain your holiday Zen when holding that useless item. 

Yes, it will surely go in the garbage when you get home (or banished to your regifting pile, if you do that). But you’re still smiling thinking about that frozen turkey Uncle Harry got.

#3
Bring a Gift You Wouldn’t Mind Getting Back
I can’t tell you the number of times someone swapped back my own gift with me, especially the ones that were ‘terrible.’ That’s the result of other players learning my gifting style over the years and predicting I was the original culprit.

So, I’ve adapted my strategy a bit and made sure that I would be happy enough taking home whatever Yankee Swap gift I show up with.

That can also make shopping much easier. Simply buy a gift that you’d want for yourself. (That increases the odds you’ll bring home a present you can use.)

The Real Gift is Spending Time with Your Group
New England often has harsh winters. Yankee Swaps are no different. So, mindset matters more than anything when playing this game.

Remember, this is not about the present. It’s about being together with a group of people and having fun. It’s about celebrating this little world you’re a part of… family, friends, and yes… maybe even co-workers.

It’s about time well spent, being together… and not alone. And that’s usually a gift worth celebrating.

Happy Holidays, and here’s to always feeling like a winner at every Yankee Swap!

This is my Father’s Final Gift to my Son

I brought home this locked briefcase I had received as a gift. When I opened it, I realized it was a conduit to one of my father’s greatest passions.

I recently received a portable record player as a gift. It’s an all-in-one device made by Victor that includes little stereo speakers and folds up like a briefcase. This updated nineteenth century music box has Bluetooth connectivity so you can pair it with a portable speaker of your choosing.

This Victor record player certainly seems like a cool gift, right? Plus, I know there are plenty of audiophiles out there who love listening to their record collections on their high-end audio systems. That said, I’m not one of them. I haven’t played a record in decades.

Partially Lost and Mostly Forgotten
I may have an old turntable collecting dust somewhere in our basement. But that’s only because I’ve not been able to part with my old record collection from my childhood. (I think that’s based more on a hoarding instinct I picked up as a kid from my Depression-era parents than on a well thought out collecting strategy.)

My old records have sat stacked in plastic milk crates in the corner of our basement without purpose.

Retrieving my Father’s Record Collection
A year ago, my father passed away. The anniversary is coming up this week. Of course, it’s bringing up a lot of feelings. When I needed to clear out his apartment in New York City last year, I had to go through his own record collection dating back to the 1940s and ‘50s. And do you know where many of them ended up?

That’s right… in my basement. They’ve joined my long-abandoned vinal disks.

I had no idea what I would do with my father’s records. But my father loved his music so much. I just couldn’t let it all disappear.

Introducing Analog Music
Fast forward back to my new Victor record player the day I brought it home. I had received it while I was in New York City. So, it was a bit of a schlep back on the Metro North train.

I was heading right to my basement with it, but then I had an idea. I reversed course and instead walked directly into our family room with the briefcase.

I found both my wife and son reading quietly.

I plopped the record player down with a loud thud on the wooden coffee table next to my son, and then I took a step back.

For a moment, nothing happened. (He was engrossed in his book.) Then, he looked up at me and smiled. Finally, he peered down at the strange object.

“What’s that?”

“Take a look,” I responded.

An Unexpected Turn
Yes, he knew what a record player was, but I don’t think he’s ever used one. My gift included a Crosby, Stills & Nash record. So, I suggested he pull it out of its sleeve. And then the lesson began.

My son is a quick study with his tech. (Yes, he’s faster at navigating our Apple TV than me.) So, we quickly got the record player up and running. It would have been faster if I didn’t take so much time explaining how to avoid scratching the record.
He sat back and listened to the record, taking in the whole analog experience.

The next evening, he asked if we could play the record again. I was a bit surprised that he was still interested. (He had full access to virtually all music ever created through our Apple Music subscription.) But I imagined it must have been more about engaging with this this new “old tech.” So, we got the record player going again.

The third day offered an even bigger moment. He asked if I had any other records he could listen to.

Whoa. Time slowed down for me. I hadn’t expected this.

The Gift of my Father’s Music
So, I asked him to wait for a minute while I walked down to the basement. I came back with Frank Sinatra, Harry Belafonte, Engelbert Humperdinck, “Oklahoma,” “West Side Story” and “The Music Man.”

I handed the LPs over.

“These were Grandpa’s records.”

He stared at them. I sure he was working through some feelings too.

And then one by one… he began to listen to them.

This continued over the next few days. I also started to bring up some of my own records…
Elvis Costello, Jethro Tull, “Yellow Submarine” and “Hotel California.”

But it’s my father’s collection that’s the foundation of what our boy has been consuming.

The record player isn’t going anywhere.

Bashert
My father has been gone for a year already, but his music is suddenly filling our house over this holiday season.

This random gift of ancient tech has served as an unexpected key to unlock so much joy from my dad’s silenced melodies.

I’m not sure I truly understand any of this, but somehow, it was all meant to be.

My father’s music is his final gift to our son.

And to me as well.

Thank you, Dad. I miss you.

What to do When your Holiday Gift doesn’t Show up

Packages don’t always arrive on time. Here’s how I try to handle that inevitability.

“Your package is on the way, but running late. We’re sorry for the delay. Now expected December 27 to December 29.”

That’s the email I recently received from Amazon. Yes, the package in question was a holiday gift for our son, and now it wasn’t.

You might think I was upset to receive that disappointing update. I was not.

Expect the Unexpected
I’ve always been something of a last-minute shopper. Try as I may, wrapping up gift purchases comes down to the wire every year. But I’ve always gotten it done. That said, this year was particularly difficult. (More on this in another post.)

As you might expect, online shopping has made the gifting equation easier for me, until it didn’t, when the pandemic and supply-chain issues delayed almost every delivery.

I was retrained to expect disruption.

And when online shopping returned mostly to normal, I wasn’t so quick to assume that ‘promised’ delivery times would always hold up.

So, did I expect some shipping delays and ultimately buy more gifts for our son than needed during my 2022 last-minute shopping sprint? Yes, I did.

And yes, there was a back-up gift ready to go to the front of the line.

Do You have a Back-up Plan?
So no, it was not disappointment I experienced when Amazon shared the bad news with me. I actually felt relief and a bit of joy. I think I even smiled. I was happy that I had successfully hedged against this possibility.

And I knew that I could easily return the package. Or perhaps I’ll keep it as a back-up gift for next year. (How’s that for early planning?)

It’s Not about the Gift
I know that the holidays shouldn’t always be about gift giving. Instead, it’s an opportunity to be with family and friends. It’s a time to connect and sometimes reconnect.

And it’s a time to celebrate who and what you have in your life.

You just don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

And if a gift shows up late, so what? As long as everyone you care about shows up, that’s all that really matters.

Happy holidays, and here’s to smiling at every late package arrival.