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Tag: Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Why I Must Put the Wireless White Sticks in my Ears

I wouldn’t describe my recent AirPods purchase as a joyous moment. Not exactly. It was more a feeling of satisfaction when you check a box on a decision you’ve long delayed. Here’s why.

The morning after Apple’s latest event, I powered up my iMac at 5:30am with my strong cup of Joe and calmly ordered a pair of the newly released third generation AirPods. Usually, my tech purchasing process is more labored with detailed research and spec comparisons. But this experience felt oddly straight forward, probably because my decision to finally buy a pair of wireless earbuds had been simmering for the past five years.

A Sea of Little White Sticks
Over that time, I’ve watched a major percentage of humanity on the streets of New York City grow little white sticks out of their ears. There were so many modified ears out there, it began to feel like my own were lacking. (Talk about herd mentality.) But as I considered augmenting my own ears’ capabilities, I also worried that a precious AirPod could drop out as I hurried about, crossing a street to beat a light.

The Wrong Fit
Of course the AirPods Pro were released to address this specific concern (among many other upgrades). I did visit the Apple Store in Grand Central Terminal a couple years back to try on a pair, eager to finally join the world of wireless earbud users.

But the AirPods Pro simply weren’t comfortable. I know it may take time to get used to the fit, or perhaps I needed a different-sized ear tip. But I turned around and walked down the stairs, empty handed, disappointed and uncertain about what to do next.

I started researching other options from different manufacturers. I went down the rabbit hole of reviews and price comparisons. I procrastinated some more.

Then, Covid hit. My focus shifted. And the next 18 months evaporated.

Better Late than Never
But the patterns of my former life have recently reemerged, and like many commuters, I have finally come out of forced hibernation. I’m back on my Metro North commuter train and walking on the streets of New York.

Immediately, I saw it all again. The sea of little white sticks.

And I wanted to swim in this ocean that surrounded me. I wanted to taste this experience.

So, I decided it was finally time. Time to get a pair of the white sticks. I’d go with the regular AirPods that wouldn’t squeeze into my ears like a Borg attachment. And if one dropped out and escaped forever, that’s life, baby.

I knew an updated model of AirPods were due. So, I just had to wait a little longer for the announcement. Soon, I would finally answer the question of what life would be like without the complexity of wires running into my ears.

An Upgrade to my Experience
The AirPods 3 have spatial audio. That’s great. And they’re water resistant. Excellent. They’re supposed to fit better. I like that.

Sure, I’m pleased that I’ll have the latest and greatest model, but I know I’m hardly an early adopter.

I do expect a better audio experience as I wirelessly tether to my iPhone, though I must admit I’m not an audiophile who must stream the best quality audio into my brain.

What I’m really hoping for is an upgrade to my physical experience as I move through my day and interface with my iPhone. No more messy wires to untangle and plug in.

Wireless is Inevitable
But are wires really so bad? Sure, they eventually fray and need to be replaced. I can’t tell you how many wired Apple EarPods I’ve had to buy over the years… but they’re just twenty bucks a pop. The rechargeable batteries in my new AirPods won’t last forever, and AirPods have an extra zero in their price point.

Today… everything is going wireless. Sure, it’s convenient, offering a clutter-free feng shui in your home. But it’s more expensive. And wireless tech needs to be recharged… and then eventually replaced.

Do you see the clever business cycle here?

A Case for Wires
We’re living in a world that increasingly distains wires. But wired connections, though messy, do tend to be more reliable.

I’m not saying that I don’t expect my new AirPods to perform perfectly. They simply fall outside of the ‘set-it-and-forget-it’ technical mindset.

I know my little AirPods come with a nifty charging case that can juice them up three times. After some use, I’ll need to figure out a charging schedule for the case so it doesn’t run dry when I’m on the go.

Last Man on Earth
My AirPods arrive next week, and once I join the crowd, I’d hate it if my AirPods pooped out (while still popped in). Sure, I’d still look good, but someone would figure it out.

Donald Sutherland would walk up to me and point. And then I’d hear his alien shriek.

What would I do? Perhaps pull out my retired Bose noise-cancelling wired headsets (with the wrong connector) from my Road Warrior 1.0 days.

Whoa! Then, I’d really be in trouble.

Hello, I’d Like to Buy 10,000 Stamps

Online at the post office beats waiting on line at the post office. But is that the best site to buy enough stamps to keep your bills paid?

Online at the post office beats waiting on line at the post office.
But is that the best site to buy enough stamps to keep your bills paid?

It seems I’m always dangerously close to running out of stamps.
And I inevitably have to prepare myself for another ‘adventure’ to the post office.

So, sure… I know we live in a paperless society where so much of our commerce is transacted digitally. But please tell that to the owners of all the bills I still receive in the mail. Yes, I’m a huge fan of online bill payments, but it takes a big commitment to get everyone into the ‘system.’

Sometimes, it’s easier just to reach for a self-stick stamp.

I Want a Real Stamp!
I don’t know about you, but I do not find it especially convenient to just walk into a post office and buy a book of stamps.
(Waiting on line is so analog!)

And purchasing stamps from the automated touch-screen dispenser doesn’t give you the real deal. Recently, these machines have been ‘upgraded’ to spit out this freshly printed but very ordinary sheet of stamps.

Yes, they’re legit, but they seem so…generic.
Something almost out of a kindergarten art project.
Certainly non-collectibles…

Google for Your Stamps
The other morning, I peeled off a little 47-cent ‘Forever’ square and realized I only had two left.

It was time to jump into action.
But I was determined not to get out of my chair.
(Besides, it was still dark out.)

I turned on my iMac.
Its glow powered my resolve.

“Send me stamps,” I whispered evilly.

Nothing.

Then I realized I was momentarily caught in a temporal rift, and I was channeling my future self ten years out.

I sighed and looked around to see if anyone got the joke.
The rest of the family was still asleep.

Oh well…
I lifted my fingers to initiate some Googling…

Amazon’s Deal Isn’t Prime
I figured the U.S. Postal Service must sell stamps online.
And of course they do.
Buying stamps at usps.com… it seems so patriotic.

Problem solved, right?

Well, I happened to notice there would be a shipping fee.
(amount unknown)
And you have to sign up for an account to discover how much that would cost.

Hmmmm….

I’ve been so spoiled by the free shipping convenience of Amazon Prime.
(Though apparently their more expensive $99 Prime charge isn’t enough to prop up Amazon’s sickly profit margins.)

I immediately went to Amazon to find my stamps.
Yup, there they were!
Prime?
Check!

Price: $13.35 for 20 stamps.

My neurons powered up to do the short math.
(uhhhhh)
I reached for the calculator instead.

Their deal turned out to be a little more than 66 cents for a 47-cent stamp.

What?!
That’s a huge mark up!!

No thank you, Amazon.

Office Depot to the Rescue
I can’t be the first person out there looking for a good deal on stamps online.

Google. Google.
Google. Google. Google.

Wait… there!!
Officedepot.com sells stamps.

Their website offered a cool roll of 100 stamps for $47 with free delivery.
(And even I could do that simple math to know the price was right.)

But then I noticed there’s a $1 ‘Processing Fee’ added at checkout.
(D’oh!!)

But I still pulled the trigger, reluctantly.
The convenience of free home delivery was worth the dollar.
(if you can follow that logic)

Uncle Sam Can’t Be Beat
But I still wasn’t 100% satisfied.

So to quench my intellectual thirst,
I went back to Uncle Sam to check out his shipping costs.

Of course, usps.com offered the traditional Forever flag stamps.
(I half expected the site to offer me an apple pie if I spent $50.)

You can order in incremental strips of 20 or 25 stamps.

And in case you suddenly find the urgent need to buy 10,000 stamps, have no fear.
The United States Postal Service has got you covered.
It just takes a click and $4,700.00, and you’re ready to go.
(I’m not kidding.)

ten-thousand-47-cent-forever-stamps

I’m not so sure how many people are clicking for 10,000 stamps, but our government has got them at the ready to ship out to you!

Once I got over considering how long it would take me to go through all those stamps, (I don’t get that many bills!)
I got back to the shipping cost question.

I took the few minutes to sign up with the government.
(Don’t they already know me?)

I experimented by putting in a few different orders into the shopping cart.
And do you know what I discovered about the shipping charge?

  • 25 stamps – $1.25 shipping
  • 50 stamps – $1.25 shipping
  • 75 stamps – $1.25 shipping
  • 100 stamps – $1.25 shipping

The United States government apparently has this great flat-rate shipping deal going with our post office.

Who knew?!!

(Actually, I think it’s a little more to ship your 10,000 stamps.)

Plus, there’s no processing fee to infuriate you!!
(That just comes once a year in April.)

So I immediately felt buyer’s remorse.
But comparing officedepot.com to usps.com… the pricing is actually kind of a wash.

Click-N-Ship
Now I had become an honorary member of the U.S. Postal Service Fan Club,
I figured I should check out the rest of what usps.com had to offer.
And I discovered our nation’s digital post office had a few other tricks up its sleeve…

Did you know….?

  • You can schedule online a free package pickup
    (though it costs $20 if you ask for a specific time window)
  • You can also order mailing and shipping supplies for free
  • And print shipping labels with postage

So for many situations, you don’t ever have to go to the post office ever again!
(Whoah… what a concept.)

Invasion of the Stamp Snatchers
I think usps.com is going right into my favorites folder.

I prefer online artificial intelligence over pod people any day….
Come on… you know what I’m talking about.

It’s not everyone at the post office, mind you…
But every so often when you go up to the counter, the post office guy looks up,
and it’s Donald Sutherland!!

Come to think of it, when you’re online late at night at usps.com, it’s probably a wise move not to fall asleep.

You never know…