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Tag: iPhone

Starving to Stay Connected while Feasting on Smartphone Tech

How difficult is it to understand this?  It’s only a problem if the smiley face shows up instead as the letter ‘J.’  But this could be the least of your smartphone problems when it comes to keeping you feeling comfortably connected to the rest of your life. Especially when you’re away on a trip…

How difficult is it to understand this? It’s only a problem if the smiley face shows up instead as the letter ‘J.’ But this could be the least of your smartphone problems when it comes to keeping you feeling comfortably connected to the rest of your life. Especially when you’re away on a trip…

8:26pm…

“Hello?”

“It’s Barrett.”

“Who?”

“Your husband!”

“I can barely hear you.”

“We just landed.”

“What?”

“Jus w ntd you kno tha I can’t  m do mak ak   fo bap   rit.
…I’ll tell you more later.”

“What?”

“Bye.”

Click

Deep down, we all know the wonders of technology are only as good as the weakest link.

It wasn’t that long ago when mobile phones freed us from our homebound communications tether.
(But those sky high cost-per-minute charges… ouch!)

Eventually, the business model matured and then truly blossomed when phones morphed into email and texting machines.

Today, smartphones connect us in ways unimaginable only a few years back.
That you can talk with and sometimes see your loved ones from almost anywhere is two parsecs shy of science fiction.

Welcome to the World of Words
As smartphones developed each new trick, that capability quickly became the dominant one.

As a result, the near lost art of writing is experiencing an amazing renaissance.
It’s the new normal.
Why would you endure the rigors of a phone call when you can ‘more easily’ email or text someone?

It’s like we’ve already abandoned using the smartphone as a simple voice tool.

Ring, Ring
That said, I have long been a stubborn proponent of the seemingly old fashioned practice of calling up someone instead of forwarding along a bunch of alphanumeric characters and butchered words.

Plus, emotional context is inevitably absent throughout the act of texting.
Though the use of emoticons does help.

And think of all that incessant back and forth of an email chain, often over the course of hours. You’d likely arrive at the same facts as with a one-minute phone conversation.

And remember, your more highly evolved smartphone is not as limited as your grandfather’s Ma Bell indestructible monster. With mobile video enabled technologies like Skype and Apple’s FaceTime, you can enjoy the purity of non-verbal communication cues to help you stay totally in sync with your phone buddy. It’s almost like being in the same room.

Why wouldn’t you want to reach out and touch someone?

What Did You Just Say?
Well, if you don’t have access to a strong connection, that value proposition falls apart pretty quickly…

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how frustrating it is having a conversation with someone on a spotty cell connection.
Understanding one out of every three words just doesn’t cut it.
And adding video into the equation is immediately hopeless.
You get the first video frame or two, and that’s about it.
Then the call crashes.

Conversely, getting a simple text out into the ether over a mediocre connection feels downright glorious.

Keep it simple. Get it done.
The pleasantries can wait till next time…

In Search of Clarity of Communication on the Go
I’ve just returned from a short business trip to Charlotte, and I clearly stretched the limits of parts of AT&T’s cell phone network in North Carolina.

While waiting at the airport gate, I tried accessing
the voodoo of a Skype video call to watch my son open up a present.

I got about 30 seconds in, and the call tanked.
(though I did get a chance to see a few of his shouts of delight!)

So sure… you’re supposed to have a Wi-Fi connection for optimal Skype results, and I was working it with a mere three bars of signal.
(FaceTime doesn’t even try to operate without Wi-Fi.)
That it connected at all is probably a miracle.

But I also had trouble successfully reaching out
via simple voice communication.
When you can’t hear all of what your wife is saying over a few minute stretch, that quickly becomes a problem.
You can only intuit so much.
And you can only say, “what?” so many times.

So sure, one time I was travelling in the car rental shuttle bus, and my wife was driving down Route 95.
Maybe I should be satisfied the call worked as well as it did.

The Frustration-Free Moment
Our nationwide cellular networks still have their holes, even in metropolitan areas.
And calling from inside thick tall buildings or moving metal cars doesn’t help much.

The truth is… smartphones can’t yet mimic the magic of a Starfleet communicator on the prescient ‘Star Trek.’
(You can’t really have a crystal clear conversation from inside a Horta’s cave with your starship in standard orbit above Janus IV.)

There are limits…

So when my plane landed back at LaGuardia airport, I texted my wife instead of going for a quick phone chat from inside the cabin.

She texted back a question about a contractor’s phone number. I pulled up the contact on my iPhone and texted it to her.

When I received back a happy face emoticon 30 seconds later, I felt this rush of happiness.

After a series of generally splotchy phone connections to my family during my trip, I had finally found some Tech Zen:

  • Simplicity
  • Clarity
  • Accuracy

In this instance there was no need for a call.
Even if my iPhone had access to a strong signal, it would likely be marred by the competing sounds of the plane’s engines blended with the loud, nasally passenger in row 12B.

And trying for a video call…?
Forget about it!

Just because you can access the wonders of your tech, doesn’t mean you should.
Especially if your experience isn’t going to be so wondrous.

Just the Facts, Ma’am!
So finally, I’ve seen the light.
When you’re on the go, texting is the clear leader for straightforward communication.
(as long as you’re not driving!)

When you just care about getting the facts across, it takes all the frustration out of the equation.

Sure… you’ll lose all the personal touches of a phone call.
But how hard is it to interpret a smiley face emoticon?

Well, that is until it shows up as a letter ‘J.’

Agent J
Even the clarity of written communication is not totally immune to misinterpretation.

One morning, while on my trip, one of my colleagues walked over to me with a worried look as he stared at his iPhone. He explained that recently he had been receiving messages that ended mysteriously with an uppercase ‘J.’

He thought it was code for some kind of newfangled valediction.

I had no idea. So we took the question to the rest of the room, which included representation across several generations.
Nobody else had a clue either.

I half expected a Man in Black to walk up with the explanation before he pulled out his neuralyzer.

But we successfully Googled it instead.

Get this… The ‘J’ apparently originated as a smiley face.
But then it got lost in translation on its way to his smartphone.

Some mail clients get confused by a 🙂
and simply replace it by a ‘J’ instead.
It’s something about a smiley becoming an upper case ‘J’ in the ‘Winding’ character world.

Weird.

My Mind to Your Mind
So really, there’s no foolproof way to ensure 100% accuracy when communicating with someone from any distance beyond 4-6 feet.
After that, all bets are off.

Technology can help through the precision of ‘word delivery’ to your phone, but only up to a point. It’s ironic that in a world overflowing with communications technologies, we often feel more disconnected than ever.

Until we master the Vulcan Mind Meld, we’ll have to struggle along as best we can.

J

Retraining your Borg Mind to Master the Sounds of iOS 7

When the update bar gets to the finish line, your iPhone will never be the same. Better. Stronger. Faster. And unfamiliar. Welcome to the updated audio world of iOS 7.

When the update bar gets to the finish line, your iPhone will never be the same. Better. Stronger. Faster. And unfamiliar. Welcome to the updated audio world of iOS 7.

You are more Borg than you know.
Remember on ‘Star Trek’… that race of evil, technology-enhanced humanoids, all enslaved to the connected, collective ‘Hive Mind?’
Yeah… those guys.

The good news is I’m not here to report that you’ve lost your free will to technology.
(not yet)

The bad news is you’ve already lost total control over parts of your unconscious autonomic mind to your mobile operating system.

Case in point:
iOS 7.

Reprogramming Your Autonomic Tech Self
Your smartphone probably isn’t drilled into your forehead or otherwise hardwired via more elegant solutions.
But since you carry your phone about with you everywhere you go, it might as well be.

And when you’re not directly interfacing with it visually, the method your phone uses to stay connected is through a myriad of audio cues:

  • ‘Ding a ling.’  Your phone rings.
  • ‘Bleep.’  You’ve got mail.
  • ‘Ping.’  Hey, you’ve got a text.
  • ‘Ta Da.’  There’s calendar invite.
  • ‘Pong.’  Here comes a tweet.
  • ‘Beep Beep.’  Time for your appointment.
  • ‘Wahhhhhh.’  Your date just cancelled on you.

You really don’t have to think about what all the sounds mean anymore.
You just intuitively know it.

It’s like not having to think about breathing.
Your autonomic nervous system controls that in your brain’s medulla oblongata.
(And you thought you’d never again use that factoid from high school biology class.)

So what happens when all those familiar iPhone audio cues change?
Enter the new and ‘improved’ world of iOS 7.

Your iOS Life as It has Been… is Over.
I finally upgraded to iOS 7, Apple’s newest mobile operating system for their mighty army of iPhones/iPads.
I’m usually a late adopter, waiting around a few weeks for the 2nd or 3rd update tweak before I pull the trigger.  First versions are always a little buggy.
(I jumped in this time at iOS 7.0.3.)

It’s no secret that this new iOS looks quite different.
And it contains enough operational updates to require your focused attention while you’re brushing up on how to use it.

For me, the larger problem wasn’t what I had to relearn visually.
It was losing the ability to understand the sounds of my phone’s updated language.
My phone would talk to me, and suddenly, I couldn’t understand it.

It felt as if my connection to the Borg Collective had been severed.
And I was about to began wandering about aimlessly with my arms flailing this way and that…
(not that the behavior is so unusual for me)

The only solution was to learn all of the new default audio cues.
And then let that information slowly seep into my medulla oblongata…

Sure, I still kind of knew what was happening when the phone rang.
Although I did miss calls, sometimes thinking I had heard someone else’s ring tone…
And the default jingle is so much more soothing, you can easily miss it in the roar of life.

Plus, I felt detached from the newly foreign sounds.
Even the on/off clicking cue was different… It had more echo.
Couldn’t they leave anything alone?!

Help!!!
What alternate universe had I been transported into?
My happy, Borg-like relationship with my iPhone was now just a mess.

Resistance is Futile
After a week, I decided it was time to go back to the future.
I just didn’t dig the new language.

(No, I didn’t ‘man-up’ and stick it out till my unconscious sufficiently absorbed the update.)

Instead, I drilled down deep in the iOS settings menu to discover
‘Classic Sounds.’

And I reactivated them.
(all of them)

Mmmmmmm… Classic Sounds.

I felt all warm and cozy again.

Yes, one day I’ll personalize the language of my iPhone with some of the newfangled audio cues.
(‘cause old sounds do eventually get boring…)
But I’ll determine the schedule of implementation, thank you very much.

And thank you, Apple for leaving the back door ajar for me.

I’m happy to report that symbiosis has finally been restored in my little
bio-tech relationship. I can again walk and talk with my iPhone… with ease.

My sense of individuality remains intact.
Total assimilation can wait for another day…

More BlackBerry Blues

Last week, BlackBerry announced an almost billion dollar quarterly loss, fueling speculation that the fat lady has already sung.  I’ve been happily using a BlackBerry at work for the past nine years, and I’m not pleased at the prospect of losing my little buddy with its old-school keyboard buttons.  But what can one do to sooth the pain of this inevitable loss?  Of course… write a poem!

Last week, BlackBerry announced an almost billion dollar quarterly loss, fueling speculation that the fat lady has already sung. I’ve been happily using a BlackBerry at work for the past nine years, and I’m not pleased at the prospect of losing my little buddy with its old-school keyboard buttons. But what can one do to sooth the pain of this inevitable loss? Of course… write a poem!


Ode to the End of BlackBerry

A billion dollar loss
Who could guess?
The mighty BlackBerry
What a mess

It’s on my belt
Wherever I go
I’m on the job
It fuels my mojo

I tap away
My message clear
It is so fast
I have no fear

My iPhone’s great
But when I try
To send a text
Quick on the fly

The auto correct
It makes a mess
It sometimes says things
I must confess

When email’s the thing
BlackBerry can’t be beat
Those tactile buttons
They’re such a treat

But a simple machine
You don’t want anymore
It really has to do all
BlackBerry hits the floor

Kicked to the ground
Others are shining
There is no hope
Cause no one’s buying

I’m still a big believer
But this is not contemporary
There’s no denying the odds
You’ll soon see the obituary

The Borg will soon provide
Workers with their new tech
Corporations shall survive
But I’ll simply say ‘bleck’

Life was glorious
BlackBerry years happy
All good things must end
Time to call my Pappy

He tells me how
In the days before time
People just talked
Then had a glass of wine

Life was simpler he says
No tech was needed
Face to face was the way
To sow what you seeded

But I attribute it
To the gloss of the past
Just like his 8-track tapes
They were quickly outcasts

Survival of the fittest
It is not that existential
Evolution transcends all
No tech is forever special