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How to Rescue your iPhone Voicemail

Do you recognize this cable? Of course you do. This mini-plug audio cable ruled your analog universe years ago. It’s time to find it in the back of your tech closet. Because you’re going to need it on your visual voicemail rescue mission!

Visual voicemail is magic, isn’t it?
All your messages. Right there in front of you.
Waiting to be played back in whatever order you want.

Infinite goodness.
But not limitless.

Pop quiz:
How many of you have ever run out of voicemail space?
All right, half of America, you can put your hands down now.

So occasionally, you’ve got to delete some messages. No biggie.
And I doubt every voicemail you receive is a gem that’s needed for posterity.
But you probably don’t want to lose it all.

Sometimes a message comes along you’d like to download to your computer for safekeeping, right?

And how does that work?
It seems like such simple ‘drag and drop’ task.
Shockingly, there’s no Easy Button to press on the iPhone.

Like Pinocchio’s Pleasure Island, you’ve unknowingly paid a steep entry fee to access the flexibility of visual voicemail.

I think the unfortunate truth is you’re not really supposed to move your voicemails around. Not that it’s illegal.
It just appears the tech titans didn’t feel this functionality was all that important.

Where do your Messages Really Live?
Part of the problem is where your voicemail messages actually reside.
In the good old days, your phone messages lived in your home answering machine on little mini audio cassettes. Remember those?

Yes, the limits of that analog technology inevitably created mangled tapes with partially destroyed messages. Towards the end of your answering machine’s life, the recorded voices you could make out spoke in wild, warbly pitches ranging from an operatic soprano to the devil’s deep base.

It’s all ancient history by today’s sleek digital standards.
But I bet some of those messages are still alive on a couple of tapes forgotten inside a shoebox in the back of your closet.

The lesson here is you had possession of the actual messages, however fragile the audio tapes were.

Today, your wireless provider stores your voicemail safely on their servers.
But only temporarily…

For example, Verizon Wireless will store 40 messages up to 3 minutes each for only 30 days.

AT&T gives you the same deal, but each message is permitted to extend to up to four minutes. (Whoo Hoo!)

Either way, your messages only have a month to live.

Escape from Alcatraz
“Hold on there, Tech Nerd!”
(you might be thinking)

“Aren’t these messages also living on my iPhone?”
Why, yes they are, clever reader.

Once your iPhone receives your messages, they do hang on…
seemingly forever, because a copy gets stored locally.

So your messages actually are in your possession.

But they’re buried really deep in your iPhone. And there’s no key.
Again, the iPhone IOS offers no obvious escape for these digital files.

I suppose you could be satisfied nurturing those voicemails locally on the phone, but if you lose or break your iPhone, your messages will go “POOF!”

If that threat doesn’t make you flinch, the simple passage of time will.
When you inevitable upgrade to a newer phone model in the next year or two, and you send your iPhone into early retirement, you might find yourself saying “Sayonara!” to your precious messages.
(An iTunes backup sync on the old iPhone should restore all existing content, but who knows what differences future operating systems might contain.)

One way or another, now is still the best time to act!
So call up your personal DBORS,
(Digital Black Ops Rescue Squad)
and let’s get to work!

We’ll give them three rescue plans to work with…

Rescue Mission 1
Bring along Third-Party Software
Your target is the aforementioned copy of your voicemail, living deep inside your iPhone
AND ALSO… backed up on your computer somewhere in iTunes.
That’s where we want to go.

But finding your messages and then identifying the right ones to save is universally viewed as a herculean task!
(I couldn’t locate them.)

Fortunately, there are some clever entrepreneurs who’ve taken the time to figure out a solution for you.

You just download their third party software, and BAM!
You’re suddenly looking at your visual voicemail on your computer’s desktop.
Export what you want, and you’re done!

Unfortunately, these software downloads are going to cost you some coin.

That said, here are the dominant players in the space:

Though this is not an official review, I’d go with Decipher Voicemail, the least expensive one.

Not that any of these choices cost crazy money, but it just feels wrong that you’ve got to pay what seems like ransom money to break your voicemail free.

Plus you know how much I like downloading additional software that may or may not play nicely with other software on my computer.

There must be another solution…

Rescue Mission 2
Bring an Old Mini-Plug Cable and Count to Five!
As the saying goes, “What’s old is new again.”
Yes, it’s an analog solution to the rescue!
And it’s free.

Just play back your voicemail message and re-record it onto a different platform.

It just takes five easy steps…

  • Step 1:
    First, plug a mini-plug audio cable into your iPhone’s earbud jack and then into the line input of your computer.
  • Step 2:
    Download Audacity, which is a popular, free audio recording program.
  • Step 3
    Play your voicemail on your iPhone and then hit the record button on Audacity.
  • Step 4:
    When you’re done, export the file to an AIFF audio file.
  • Step 5:
    If you’d like, you can then convert it to an m4a iTunes file in QuickTime.

BAM!!
It’s embarrassingly easy.

Rescue Mission 3
For Those Who Still Know What a Pager Is
And if your iPhone isn’t physically around, (dog ate it/toddler flushed it)
you can really go old-school and call in to your wireless provider’s voicemail system.
(Remember, you can only access your last month’s worth of messages.)

  • Dial your mobile number and let your call ring in to voicemail.
  • While your message is playing, press the * key.
  • And then tap in your voicemail password.
    (If you can’t remember it, you can always call your wireless provider to quickly change it.)
  • Now, you should proceed as above, although you’re forced to use the limited functionality of sifting through each message before you find the ones you want.
    (Old school is old for a reason.)

Mission Accomplished!
You’ve got your voicemail messages safely back on home turf.
Congratulations.

Sure it took a little MacGyvering.
And who knew the old low-rent mini plug still had such value other than at the end of earbuds?

You may be feeling a bit like a donkey having made such an effort to rescue a simple voicemail message…

But such is life on Pleasure Island.

All I Want is to Have my Peace of Mind and Cloud Storage

It’s time to fly your data to the Cloud. Now boarding at Gate B9… all your precious files selected for Cloud storage!

Okay, Cloud.
Show me your stuff.

I need a bulletproof digital storage solution.
Why?
I’ve got a wonderful two-year-old son.
And he’s proudly running about the house like a Tasmanian devil.

My home tech is afraid.
He took down my sturdy Epson printer in 3.7 seconds with a shiny penny.

And he loves to climb.
(Anyone know of a good indoor rock-climbing program for toddlers?)

Nothing is safe.
I worry about my iMac.

Yes, I back it up with Apple’s Time Machine and an external drive,
but really… So what?
Nothing is totally safe…especially in close proximity to a toddler.

These days, everyone is opining about the magic of the Cloud, and how you can safely and cheaply store all your digital files there.

So, problem solved?

This is what I have to say to the Cloud-
Put up or shut up.
Bring it on!

Archive the Family Photos and Videos
I began this project with the singular goal of simply backing up two massive sets of files on my iMac:

  • My always-growing home video archive
  • And my bulging photo collection, which lives in Apple’s Aperture (the beefier cousin to iPhoto)

I figured in the unlikely scenario of total calamity, I would at least have these precious memories safely backed up to the Cloud.
(Where nothing could ever go wrong.)

Who Gets to Go in the Life Boat?
But when you consider what digital content you absolutely can’t lose, the issue gets cloudier.

My life merged with my home computer sometime around Y2K.
Since then, most everything that’s happened to me has some digital footprint on my computer. Unless you’re a Luddite, you’re probably in the same boat.

Think about it.
Remnants of the past decade of your life live all over your computer’s hard drive.
Talk about baggage.

Pop quiz:
If you woke up one morning, and a voice said you had to leave home forever, and you had one hour to take only what you could carry, would you be ready?

Well, if you’d been dutifully doing your annual spring-cleaning, you might be up to the task.

Well, have you?

I think the same story goes for many personal computers out there
…and their flawed users.
How organized is all the data on your computer?
If you had to immediately select just 10% of your content to save, would you know where to start?

I certainly wouldn’t.

Now is every megabyte of my digital life absolutely critical to save for posterity?
I don’t think so.

Remember, my plan was just to back up my videos, photos and home movies.
All the unused footage I left on the cutting room floor could go, right?

The problem is, I’ve fallen a tad behind in my home editing.
My boy is almost two-and-a-half, and I’m still working on some of his precious video moments from last year.

Now that’s an entirely separate problem, but you can see where I’m going.

Forget the spring-cleaning analogy.
Life is messy.
Your computer follows your life.
Get used to it.

So where does that leave you?
You’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Mind-Numbing Number of Cloud Solutions
There are plenty of companies out there in the cloud storage business.
You even can even pick up some free storage from some of them, but you’ll hit a cap quickly.

Free Cloud Storage:

The best free deal out there I’ve found is 50 gigs from MediaFire.
The only catch is the per file limit is 200 megs, which severely limits video archiving.

But none of these free choices will handle the storage needs of a long-term media file archiving plan.

Fifty Bucks Can Save Your Digital World
At the $50/year price point though, things start to get interesting-

$50 – $100 Plans:

For the uber-organized individual, this could be enough storage to do the job.

Affordable Unlimited Storage Plans?!
There are also a few companies out there offering unlimited Cloud storage at similar price points.

What?! Unlimited? That sounds crazy!
Yes, it seems counter intuitive, but the all-you-can-eat plans are far more economical.

These loss leader deals are baked into full service back-up strategies as opposed to a simple Cloud rental. They work much like Time Machine.
Set it and forget it, and they’re automatically updating your files in the background to Cloud servers.

Here are some popular ones I uncovered for both Macs and PCs:

Unlimited Storage Plans:

I’m not sure how these companies pull a profit with this pricing, but they must know what they’re doing.

Unlimited Storage is Hard to Beat
So for me, it really came down to two choices:

  • Rent 50 GB or 100 GB for long term archiving for something under $100/year
  • Or buy an unlimited back up Cloud plan for the same amount or less

You do the math.

But as wonderful as these unlimited plans appeared, I didn’t really want the complication of downloading some third-party software and then have it running in the background, syncing files 24/7 on my computer for the next…
Well, forever.

Forced to Choose
But, I realized if I chose a limited Cloud storage plan,
I’d find myself with sort of a digital Sophie’s Choice.

With that scenario, I’d be forced to take the time to select which precious files get rescued.

And that process would require me to undertake the dreaded decade’s worth of digital spring-cleaning. And how much time does that take?

I don’t know.
Because I pressed the button that says,
“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got unlimited back up.”

Yep, it’s all going up to the Cloud.

CrashPlan+ Unlimited or Bust
So I made my move and pulled the trigger with a company called Code 42 Software.
I chose their CrashPlan+ Unlimited one-year plan with downloadable software and a convenient desktop interface.

In addition to receiving universally good reviews, CrashPlan’s value proposition was really compelling.

Plus, a recent CNET post pointed me to a particularly good CrashPlan promotion.
When you read it, you’ll notice you may not meet the one requirement to get the deal, but CNET recommends you still go for it.

So do I.

(The key word I’m not mentioning here rhymes with tree.
We’ll speak no more of this.)

The Cloud’s Achilles’ Heel
CrashPlan’s software download and set-up were super simple.
(My concerns were unfounded.)
I was ready to begin backing up in ten minutes.

But as I sat staring at CrashPlan’s control panel to confirm the selection of my files to encrypt and send to the Cloud, I remembered one problem inherent with using the Cloud:

It’s the limitation of your own network’s upload/download speeds.
You’re never going to come close to the speed of transferring your files to a physical drive via a FireWire or USB cable.

And then I viewed CrashPlan’s time prediction to complete the job.
It said, “Time to backup – 39 days.”
(I’m not kidding.)
I have close to a terabyte of data, because of all the video I’ve collected over the years.
And this assumes my computer is awake 24/7.

I opened my movies folder and realized I had 519 gigs of video waiting to blast off.
And that month-long estimate is at a 2.1Mbps upload speed.
(Individual mileage may vary.)

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
So my brilliant plan had one big hiccup.
My data isn’t getting to the Cloud until sometime next month.

I hope Mr. Disaster isn’t waiting around the corner.

For those who don’t have the patience, there’s a shortcut.
CrashPlan offers a service called “Seeding.”
For $125, they’ll send you a one-terabyte hard drive in the mail. You put your massive files on it and mail it back. Then, they’ll load it up to your Cloud account within five to ten days.

Snail mail beating the speed of the Internet?
How wonderfully analog.

I considered the seeding solution but decided I should probably attack the real problem and finally face some digital spring-cleaning.

So I committed a precious hour of my free time.
(Parenthood and work consume much of the rest.)
I organized a portion of my video and photo files and brought my digital mountain down to 572 GB and only 25 days of uploading.
Not a bad return on a one-hour investment.
(Maybe there is something to this quaint custom called ‘organization.’)

Unlimited Peace of Mind?
I wanted peace of mind, and I got a ‘set it and forget it’ solution.
That fits the bill, right?

But you can never just set it and forget it.
You can’t just pack up your digital mess and ship it to the Cloud every year.
No matter how much the cost of digital storage continues to drop, any attic is only so big.

I think I’ll try to extend my “Digi-Org” to keep my Cloud files in check.

So today, I got a really good deal. But that’s only for the next 365 days.
What’s my future cost to maintain a personal terabyte in the Cloud?
How about ten terabytes?
Sure the sky’s the limit, but it’s going to cost you!

I originally imagined I would simply rent some Cloud space for years to come and create my little digital archive, kind of like a safety deposit box.

It would seem that’s still an idea slightly ahead of its time.

Plus, you’ve got to wonder which companies are going to be around in the upcoming decades. (no disrespect intended)
But the expectation that you’ll never have to move your archive to a different provider is probably unrealistic.

28 Days Later
So how do I like CrashPlan?
I’ll let you know next month.
(As I write this, I’m only 29.6 GB into the upload. 542.3 GB to go…)
For now, I’ve got Time Machine and my external G-Tech backup drive watching my digital back.

As if my own fears surrounding the safety of my home media files aren’t enough, don’t forget the world apocalypse is just around the corner.
(The Mayan Calendar Ends on December 21st.)

Well, look on the bright side.
The planet may be gone, but all my critical data will be living safely in the Cloud.

Ode to iPhone 5

Look at all the happy campers, young and old, holding the new iPhone 5 in the Apple Store at the big launch. But I dare not touch it. As a current 4S owner, it’s unattainable. What is one to do? Write poetry.

I’ve got iPhone envy
Yes, it’s true
The Five is so brawny
And now I’m blue

My 4S was once a blast
It’s innards strong
The Five is now twice as fast
It feels so wrong

My bitty screen born from Xanadu
Is now eclipsed by a larger view

A half-inch more is not a lot they say
But when you admit it, just walk away

I’d buy the Five if I could
I’m stuck with a piece of wood

My current contract just prevents me
Another year in Rura Penthe

Friends say the Five is so minor
They’re due for an upgrade so why not
But I know there’s nothing finer
When I’m holding my tiny kumquat

And Barrett must now wait for the time
I’ll not feel the techy fool
My phone will again stop on a dime
No more coveting and drool

Wonder if the Droid is a better way?
It’s a discussion for another day

I know I’ll see the silver lining
And then rise up to feel a shining

To have it all plus a little more
My phone tech will ring from shore to shore

The iPhone in my back pocket
Will roar again like a rocket