At Home with Tech

There’s a new teaser trailer online for the upcoming “Star Trek: Discovery” series. Over a million fans have already checked it out. Is the show ready for prime time? Uhhhh….

I’m a Star Trek fan, and I have been since I was seven years old. So it really pains me to say this…

But as a ‘Trekie,’ I think the first trailer for the new Star Trek series, “Star Trek: Discovery” is simply…well…

It’s terrible.
(You hadn’t heard there’s a new series in the works?)

Granted, this first teaser trailer doesn’t reveal much except the new starship itself. So what could be so bad?

Here… take a look…

Where’s Scotty When You Need Him?
Yes… my problem is with the U.S.S. Discovery.
The new starship.

It looks like an ambitious fifth grader designed it on a Mac. All of the right parts are there, but the design is… well, kind of odd.
(I know… geek alert!!)

Sure the ship has the familiar saucer and two nacell warp-engine design. But it looks… rather boxy. Not sleek or elegant the way all of the ships in the Federation’s Starfleet have always looked.
(Both in the original ‘Prime’ universe as well as in J.J. Abram’s alternate timeline)

If this is a pre-Kirk era starship, (note the NCC-1031 on the saucer) that doesn’t mean the ship has to look like an old Volvo. The NX-01 starship of the doomed “Enterprise” UPN series (2001-2005) still looked pretty cool…

A Teaser is Supposed to Generate Excitement
Also, the footage looks like something out of a Star Trek fan film you can find on YouTube. It approximates the quality of a Hollywood-created starship, but the ship doesn’t feel ‘real’ at all. It’s clearly stuck in an animated universe.

Which isn’t so good considering the best-in-class special effects we’ve just been exposed to in Justin Lin’s “Star Trek Beyond.”

Granted, “Beyond” is a big budget movie, and we’re comparing it to something out of a TV series.

But for one minute, the special effects department can’t do a little better?!
(You only get one chance to make a first impression.)

Look… I get that the producers can’t give too much away, with “Beyond” being front and center right now.

But if you’re going to give up anything, please make it great!

Live Long and Prosper
I really don’t mean to bash “Star Trek: Discovery.” I want Star Trek in all its forms to succeed, and the truth is I’ve stuck with all of the incarnations my entire life.

Perhaps I’m smarting a little bit, because “Star Trek Beyond” isn’t doing that well at the box office. And I have to admit that (Spoiler Alert) there’s so much frenetic and confusing action, the film sometimes forgets it’s a Star Trek movie. Even with all the great special effects and Simon Pegg’s witty lines, you leave the theater feeling hungry for more.

So now that “Beyond” is behind us, the attention turns to “Discovery,” which premieres in January.

The Band’s Back Together
I’m thinking, “Guys, you’d better get this right!”
(The failure of “Enterprise” over ten years ago is still fresh in my mind.)

That said, I’m excited to see so many Star Trek A-List production alumni attached to the project….
Alex Kurtzman (co-writer of 2009’s “Star Trek” and “Into Darkness”), Bryan Fuller (“Deep Space Nine” and “Voyager” writer), and Nicholas Meyer
(“The Wrath of Khan” writer and director)

That’s pretty exciting, right?

So why am I so cranky?
Because of a silly teaser trailer?

Exactly.

Discovery Will Not Be Free
Plus, I’m going to have to pay for the pleasure of watching this new series, as it will only be available on CBS All Access streaming at $5.99/month.
(Except for the series premiere, which will be distributed old school.)

So now if I’ve got to pay to watch your Star Trek series… then you’ve also got to show me the money!

This is Just a Test?!
All we really know about “Star Trek: Discovery” so far is that a poorly-designed starship likes to hang out in the middle of an asteroid space station. I’m hoping that it was just a concept piece to get the fans excited at Comic-Con.

There is one other little detail to pay attention to…
The title of the trailer
It’s “First Look – Test Flight of Star Trek’s U.S.S. Discovery.”

Test flight?

Huh.

Does that mean these are just test shots. Not the real deal?

Huh.

Does that mean I set my phaser to ‘severely angry’ for nothing?

I hope so.

Okay.
Red alert cancelled.

Deep down, I’m a believer.
Always have been.

I’ll try to be more patient as I wait again to “boldly go….”